The Jozifugee

I am a recent import from Jozi, a fugee from Geepee. Its been almost 3 months since I relocated from Johannesburg to Cape Town. I still have the number plate to prove it, as does the local metro police department who rolled out a welcome mat in the form of a R200 fine just 6 days after I arrived. Apparently the speed limit is the same in the Republic of Cape Town as it is in South Africa.

I moved here for love. There, I’ve said it. When I contemplated a relocation from the highveld to the beach, I toyed with the idea of using a more machismatic  (yes apparently thats a word according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary of lesser used blogwords) reason for relocating.
Herewith the shortlist:

a) I’ve developed an allergy to smoggy crime
b) I’m going to be doing a study of functioning municipalities
c) I’m gay
d) The traffic is just so much better
e) I like to be wet and cold, like a healthy dog’s nose, in winter
f) Stop asking me personal questions or I’ll f**k you up (I grew up in the south of Johannesburg)

Somehow none of these options resonated, bearing in mind that I hoped to return to the City of Gold periodically to show off my tan and still wished to receive the hero’s welcome I always knew I richly deserved. Anyway the truth of the matter was that I had lost my mind and my heart to a local beauty, a woman, for those of you wondering about the possibility of (c) above. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay. I mean just the other day, a nice gay fellow at the gym in Greenpoint asked me if I’d like a teabag. I know, odd being offered a hot beverage in the change-room but very kind nonetheless. Apologies for digressing but I feel the gay community often gets a bum rap.

The residents of the Cape find it very hard to comprehend why people choose to live at the breakneck pace of Johannesburg, much the same way the residents of Africa’s economic powerhouse (not Lagos….Joburg) cannot fully appreciate the more relaxed lifestyle choices people make in Cape Town. This is perhaps much like the contrasting dynamic that exists between fans of boxing and chess. A rapid succession of punches in the ring being strangely more appealing to some than check-mating with the queen in the corner of the board.

In any event, moving to the Cape is my first experience of living and working permanently outside of Jhb. Ironically this is also my first attempt at blogging. If its crap I hope no one sees it. If its awesome, I hope this is the start of a wonderful journey. So for now, this little collection of words will be my window to my new world. And in case you were wondering, I’ll be keeping my GP plates on for a while longer as a subtle reminder for me and as a dark warning to the local taxi drivers.

Oh by the way, I’m the Liability Guy.

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